Some days I just feel so inade…QUIT IT!!! :(

I’m a big baby. How am I allowed to have a baby myself? Some days I just feel so inadequate. Yesterday was one of them and my little girl isn’t even out of the womb yet.

The night before, I drank two mugs of Rooibos tea to help me go to sleep because even though I was extremely tired, D wasn’t. She was having a regular dance party inside. Apparently she’s a night owl like her mother used to be. So while I was trying hard to go to sleep with my pile of pillows, she was head banging and kicking like the party had just started! And I guess it had because she kept on till around 3 AM.

Needless to say, yesterday morning was terrible. I woke up extremely grumpy and couldn’t find anything to make me smile for most of the day. (It also didn’t help that I found stretch marks on my belly in the mirror…or that I had apparently needed more fiber in my diet the past few days.) Then I got thinking…how am I going to act when my little girl is in my arms crying her little head off for an hour straight in the middle of the night?

Patience. I need patience. Patience because God has been patient with me when I’ve messed up over and over again throughout my life. Patience because Keith has been patient with me through most of this pregnancy when almost anyone else would’ve said, “Just shut up and deal with it.” Patience because my mother had to deal with me…a little baby and a little kid who I’m sure D is/will be just like…and a teenager I hope, in some ways at least, she’s not.

I’m not patient. I thought I was working on that, but as I saw yesterday, I have a looooong way to go.



Daddy’s little girl

Well, I don’t blame her. I was my daddy’s little girl too. And Keith’s pretty darn cool. I have no doubt he’ll be an awesome dad. Both of us have fears of being less than perfect parents, but the thing we have to remember is that God chose US to be D’s parents. What an incredible blessing!!!

Oh…how do I know she’s daddy’s girl? She told us…in so many punches. 🙂 Whenever Keith is around, her kicks and punches get harder and much more distinguished. My favorite “D action” by far happened today.

Keith (talking with his cheek on my belly): Hey girl! Are you punching mommy?
D: *punch*
Keith: Are you daddy’s little girl?
D: *very hard karate chop, punch, punch, punch*

I think we have our answer. 🙂


D’s bedtime story

We’re an adventurous couple. We have been since the beginning. So it was fitting for us to go camping for our one year anniversary…on an island occupied only by us and some horses…with an impending storm…in a tent.

The night we got there was gorgeous. We thoroughly enjoyed eating smores over a campfire on the beach, which was something we had never done before. We watched the waves roll in under the light of the moon & a million stars, a lighthouse beaming in the distance, and the campfire cracking. It was perfect.
The next morning, I woke up early and hung out with the birds while I wrote in my journal and listened to them chattering back and forth. Keith and I fished, searched for shells, and visited the horse pond while the sun baked down on us making our sunburns worse. We loved every minute of relaxation & had no idea how crazy the storm was getting, or that we were in its path.
By afternoon, we made our way back to camp and listened to the radio only to find that our horse island paradise was about to get jacked up. Well, it ended up taking all evening and into the night to get there. By that point, I was exhausted from worrying and allergies and my husband convinced me to get in the tent and go to sleep. He reminded me for the 100th time that God can speak the words and calm the storm (“But does He want to?” I kept thinking) and he told me he’d wake me up if it got really bad.
Keith watched water spouts come up from the ocean into the clouds and some pretty angry storm clouds split completely around the island. We literally got about 5 minutes of rain. And I slept right through the majority of it! There were 60 tornadoes that night in North Carolina alone. Some nearby towns had a whole lot of damage and many people died.
During the storm, we were joking about how we would be “the couple who went camping and died the day before their one year anniversary.” Not wanting to be too morbid, we turned that into, “the kids will ask for this as a bedtime story one day.”
A few days after we got home from our trip, we found out just how true that would be! I was about a week late, so I woke up early one morning and took a pregnancy test. So much for “worrying and allergies” being the cause of my exhaustion! As I type, I’m reading aloud…and my little girl is kicking and punching inside me…enjoying her bedtime story. 🙂
~Tanya…aka Mommy