Some days I just feel so inade…QUIT IT!!! :(

I’m a big baby. How am I allowed to have a baby myself? Some days I just feel so inadequate. Yesterday was one of them and my little girl isn’t even out of the womb yet.

The night before, I drank two mugs of Rooibos tea to help me go to sleep because even though I was extremely tired, D wasn’t. She was having a regular dance party inside. Apparently she’s a night owl like her mother used to be. So while I was trying hard to go to sleep with my pile of pillows, she was head banging and kicking like the party had just started! And I guess it had because she kept on till around 3 AM.

Needless to say, yesterday morning was terrible. I woke up extremely grumpy and couldn’t find anything to make me smile for most of the day. (It also didn’t help that I found stretch marks on my belly in the mirror…or that I had apparently needed more fiber in my diet the past few days.) Then I got thinking…how am I going to act when my little girl is in my arms crying her little head off for an hour straight in the middle of the night?

Patience. I need patience. Patience because God has been patient with me when I’ve messed up over and over again throughout my life. Patience because Keith has been patient with me through most of this pregnancy when almost anyone else would’ve said, “Just shut up and deal with it.” Patience because my mother had to deal with me…a little baby and a little kid who I’m sure D is/will be just like…and a teenager I hope, in some ways at least, she’s not.

I’m not patient. I thought I was working on that, but as I saw yesterday, I have a looooong way to go.

-Mommy

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